Ho hum

Not much new to report today. Some highlights of the day include:

1) Enjoyed breakfast at A&W at approx. 8:30AM.
2) Enjoyed lunch from Safeway (italian sandwich) at approx. 12PM
3) Enjoyed a Coke slurpee from Mac's at approx 1:45PM.
4) Downloaded some new SexyTeenSandy pictures.
5) Washed my car inside and out - looks great.

That's it.

Pink is my favorite color.

First off, I'd like to say that I'm disappointed with the number of comments I've received on my blog lately. I realize that there are only a small handful of you that actually read my blog, but that's all the more reason to support my ideas and pictures. After all, I don't post pictures of incredibly hot girls (like SexyTeenSandy) because I want to. I do it for you, the loyal reader.

Secondly, I'm pretty fucking mad at the Philadelphia Flyers. They've been up and down all year, and they shoud be challenging for the President's Trophy. Instead, they're probably not even going to win their division. If that's not enough, tonight they lost to the Maple Leafs. That's right, the MAPLE LEAFS, a non-playoff team, and the nemesis of any true hockey fan. That's like an F1 race car driver losing a race to an old chinese woman. It's fucking humiliating. They better not choke in the playoffs or else.

It better be nice out tomorrow because I'm craving a slurpee right now, but it would be better if I had one on a nice sunny afternoon. If you like slurpees, let me know what your favorite kind is. I'll post the results in a future blog. Or you could just read them in my comments.

I'm an ass man

No time for an entry today. Just wanted to keep Newman off my back with a new picture.

Like fine wine

I thought that I would devote some time to a topic that has been on my mind lately. Getting old. Now right away you're probably thinking "Cory, you're not that old". I know that I look like I'm 23, but I'm actually older than that. Recently I've started to feel older in my bones and joints and I don't like it. I've started to get a few gray hairs here and there, no doubt from being friends with Tapper. Living with Newman doesn't help either, because I'm constantly reminded what life cruelly has in store for me.

I remember being in high school and thinking that 30 was old. And it was old when Newman was 30 (Just kidding old timer). But now I find myself totally out of touch with the young people of today. I'm the guy that gets mad at young people making noise when I'm trying to relax. I used to be the guy making the noise. And I was really good at making noise. When did this happen? I think it's akin to watching your kids grow up (not that I have any kids, that I know about). It happens gradually over time, so slowly that you don't notice until it's too late. And you come to the realization: I'm fucking old. Not as old as Newman or Collin or Wayne. But still older than Tapper and Dick.

Luckily, men have ways of dealing with getting older. And since I can't afford a fabulous sports car, I'll have to settle for looking at pictures of impossibly hot young girls that I've downloaded from the internet. Maybe getting old isn't so bad after all.

Another weekend gone...

It was a pretty eventful weekend. Or at least half of it was. I started out friday late afternoon relaxing at home. Then Newman kept harassing me to come to Crush, twisting my rubber arm if you will. I finally gave in and madness ensued. For those of you who don't know or care, Newman has recently given up all the good things that you and I would never dream of living without such as food and alcohol. If you want details, click on his link, this is my blog and I won't waste it on him. As I was saying, I went to Crush and had a few drinks. We met some hot women, and somehow ended up stumbling around downtown until we made it back to Crush at about 1:45. Just in time for last call. Sweet timing if I don't say so myself. Then we ended up at said hot girl's apartment. Visited for a while and then went to visit Brendan before realizing that Tapper had to work saturday morning, and so we left and called it a night. Or more accurately, a morning. Good times.

Hold on a minute, I need to look at SexyTeenSandy for bit. Aaah, that's better.

Saturday I slept most of the day away. Ok all of the day. Although I did watch tv for a while.

Today I got up early and went grocery shopping, which is one of my favorite things to do. Then I had some breakfast. Then I had lunch. Then Tapper and I went to Swiss Chalet for some chicken and ribs. And no I'm not fat if you're wondering. Tapper is kind of fat though. Actually he's portly. No, maybe a little chubby. Anyway, here I am now working on my blog, listening to music that that I've downloaded illegally.

Once again, enjoy the eyecandy.

A happy ending

You know what sucks? When your paycheck isn't in the bank like it's supposed to be. Today was payday, but alas, there was no money in my account. It seems that somebody in payroll made a booboo and dated our direct deposit incorrectly.

Now normally I'm a pretty tolerant person. I live and let live, and I understand that mistakes happen, mostly because I make more of them than anybody else. However, when it comes to somebody's money, there's a saying that I'm fond of: DON'T FUCK AROUND! I think that most people would agree with me on this point. As a matter of fact, it's generally accepted that making a mistake of any kind in payroll is absolutely unacceptable. If Osama Bin Laden had a fucked up paycheck as justification for 9/11, he would have had undeniable support accross the world. That's how serious this issue is.

Now that the day is almost at an end, I have the perspective to look back and reflect on my obnoxious behavior today. By the way, isn't sexyteensandy hot? I love her. And you can tell she's really asking for it too. You don't even want to know what I'd do to her. I'd get some ice cubes and a car battery... I better stop. Anyway I didn't get paid, I was pissed off, blah,blah, blah. Life's too short to be angry all the time. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And then add some alcohol and get pissed. Hopefully you'll forget why you were angry in the first place. Don't forget, alcohol is the cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems.

Memo to all

I've decided that when I have something to write about in my blog, obviously I'll do so. However more often than not I'm too tired or not motivated enough to come up with something worthwhile to put my name to. Jason Lee has the market cornered on ranting and raving and although there are times that I'd like to crack some skulls and bitch and moan, nobody does it quite like JL, so I generally leave it to him. Newman has the inane religous drivel totally covered, so that's taken too. All I'm left with is incredibly clever anecdotes and witty commentary on everyday events and situations. However, like I said earlier, sometimes it's tough for me to come up with pure gold everyday. Henceforth, on my days off, I'll be providing the readers with pictures of sexy women in compromising poses. I trust this will suffice to entertain the masses. Jessica, I'll be awaiting your scathing comments. Everyone else, enjoy!

The Terrible and Ugly Truth Finally Comes Out

It's been a while since I shared my insight regarding the fairer sex, and after watching an episode of Smallville, I noticed something interesting and I thought it would make an enlightening topic for discussion.
I have a theory that sex makes women age faster. Now before you say anything, hear me out.

Fact #1) Most women are more hesitant than men to give it up. (Sex)
Fact #2) Women have a terrible fear of getting older.
Fact #3) Women are irrational and emotional.

The above facts alone should be enough to prove my theory, however I'll cite a few examples.

Example #1) Porn stars seemingly age at an incredible rate. Stars appear to be extremely weathered around the age of 25. Porn stars have lots and lots of sex.
Example #2) On Smallville, I noticed that Lois Lane had some wrinkles around her mouth. This was most likely due to the number of blowjobs she needed to give in order to land her cushy role on TV.

When you put the facts together with my examples, it's overwhelmingly clear that sex makes women age faster and that there are women out there that know this. Now before all you man haters out there rip me a proverbial new one, let me just say that it's a testament to your sex that there are women who don't care and are still willing to smoke cocks like Jason Lee smokes cigarettes.

If anyone out there has any corroborating evidence for my theory, I'd love to hear about it.
Until then, enjoy the eye candy.

HAHAHA

Jekdir rab niikto walid ezzedine. Jason Lee feb kalso jun zalbar alshir e rab niikto, e maltok ruk. Newman zant ezzedine jhai suklit.

GA LIKT ZALBAR ALSHIR!

To Be Continued...