Please, allow me to retort...
After a hard day at work I turned on my computer and decided to check out Newman's blog as I frequently do, in order to catch up on what's going on with him. I was shocked and horrified to discover that he has used his blog as a forum with which to slander sharks as well as myself. I'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. For this purpose I will use the Great White Shark in my examples as this is the species that most people think of when they think about sharks.
1) Great White sharks, despite having their eyes placed on the side of their heads, have excellent vision and can see much better than any human. At the moment of attack, great whites roll their eyes back into their head as a defense mechansim to prevent injury. They can however, see perfectly with their mouth open. If any of you have ever watched Newman eat, you would wonder if he can see with his mouth open. The mess he makes while he eats (eg strawberries all over the kitchen counter and floor, sandwich crumbs on the carpet, etc) presents a great deal of doubt in my mind.
2) While it is true that a group of dolphins is capable of fending off a great white, the fact remains that sharks can and do feed on dolphins on a regular basis. Dolphins are more agile but they are not as fast and powerful as great whites, who use sneak attacks to outsmart and ambush their prey. Here is a picture of a great white breaching the surface of the water in pursuit of prey:
3) Sharks are not human. Therefore any speculation as to what they would look like if they were, is irrelevant. Furthermore, Newman seems to think that a person is defined by their looks as he seemed to focus on the shark being "big and ugly". He went on to talk about their large noses and crooked teeth. As far as I'm concerned, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones:
You want to talk about "big and ugly", "big nose and crooked teeth", there it is. If looks were the sole factor of survival, Newman would be at the bottom of the food chain.
I could go on and on, however I have better things to do than engage Newman in a battle of witty literary reparte. Perhaps he should spend less time slandering sharks and spend more time working on his literary skills. While reading his blog I found numerous sentence fragments, spelling mistakes, incorrect use of punctuation, and my favorite error, "rat scallion". Did you mean rapscallion? I thought so.
As my final act of one-up-manship, I present this picture of Sandy. Sometimes I even amaze myself.
1) Great White sharks, despite having their eyes placed on the side of their heads, have excellent vision and can see much better than any human. At the moment of attack, great whites roll their eyes back into their head as a defense mechansim to prevent injury. They can however, see perfectly with their mouth open. If any of you have ever watched Newman eat, you would wonder if he can see with his mouth open. The mess he makes while he eats (eg strawberries all over the kitchen counter and floor, sandwich crumbs on the carpet, etc) presents a great deal of doubt in my mind.
2) While it is true that a group of dolphins is capable of fending off a great white, the fact remains that sharks can and do feed on dolphins on a regular basis. Dolphins are more agile but they are not as fast and powerful as great whites, who use sneak attacks to outsmart and ambush their prey. Here is a picture of a great white breaching the surface of the water in pursuit of prey:
3) Sharks are not human. Therefore any speculation as to what they would look like if they were, is irrelevant. Furthermore, Newman seems to think that a person is defined by their looks as he seemed to focus on the shark being "big and ugly". He went on to talk about their large noses and crooked teeth. As far as I'm concerned, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones:
You want to talk about "big and ugly", "big nose and crooked teeth", there it is. If looks were the sole factor of survival, Newman would be at the bottom of the food chain.I could go on and on, however I have better things to do than engage Newman in a battle of witty literary reparte. Perhaps he should spend less time slandering sharks and spend more time working on his literary skills. While reading his blog I found numerous sentence fragments, spelling mistakes, incorrect use of punctuation, and my favorite error, "rat scallion". Did you mean rapscallion? I thought so.
As my final act of one-up-manship, I present this picture of Sandy. Sometimes I even amaze myself.
posted by Unknown at 3:44 p.m.
6 Comments:
no it is "rat scallion",...from a nicholas brendan quote. And once again you have shown me up. But this is not over. I will return
I read the quote you were referring to and I'm pretty sure that he got it wrong in his quote. If you can prove me wrong feel free, but I don't think that "rat scallion" is correct.
i think we are both wrong...rascallion is the word i was looking for...as a variation of rascal...but i like rat scallion cause its redonqulas
Fair enough although rascallion is a word that is now disused. It has been replaced by rapscallion. So if anything, we were both right, although I was a little more right.
But what of the sharks? ARe there feelings hurt from NMZ character bashing and flagrant misuse of the english language? As always, Sandy makes her way into the blog. Redonqulous, hardly, more like reskankulous for those hot pics of Linny infront of the sharks. Yummy.
i think linny has your back with her latest blog.
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