10 Random Facts About Chuck Norris

1) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assasination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets and deflected them with his beard. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

2) To prove that it isn't that big a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer, only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that Lance Armstrong.

3) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

4) If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

5) Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

6) Chuck Norris once payed a visit to the Virgin Islands. Now they're simply called The Islands.

7) In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

8) Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.

9) Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bike that was missing it's chain and rear tire.

10) Chuck Norris doesn't eat cherries, he pops them.

A quiet weekend?

Ahhh Waynesday... it's been a short 9 days thankfully and tomorrow is day 10 which means I'll be leaving to come home for a few days. I'm not sure what everyone is up to, it sounded like NMZ might be out of town. And Tapper will surely be out of commision, if not out of town. Which means a quiet weekend for me other than a wedding on Saturday. It's nice to just relax sometimes, especially since it seems like when I come home, my days are just packed.

I thought it was important that I post a picture like this if for no other reason than to reaffirm my status as one of Calgary's leading smut pedlars. And yes those are Sony MDR-V700 headphones for all you geek dj's out there.

PS - Linny, there are no characters in the movie Goodfellas that I would like to be. All of them are criminals, and we all know that crime doesn't pay. It may seem like they are getting ahead in life by robbing and cheating but what goes around comes around. In the end, almost every character meets a tragic end, be it a grisly murder, incarceration, or in Henry Hill's case, living out the rest of his life as a regular joe. Not something to wish after I'm afraid.

I remember when...

I've hit an all new low, even for me. The picture on the left is a random picture I found on MySpace, I don't even remember who it is, but I laughed my ass off when I saw it. Look at the guy in the background, he's fucking TRASHED. This is what it's come to. Faced with a degree of isolation and loneliness I never imagined, I'm forced to live my life through the internet. As sad as it is, the picture takes me back to the days when I had no cares and more often than not, I was really high. I remember smoking pot every night and then sneaking into the food closet where my roommates kept their food, and closing the door and eating cookies in the dark whilst my roommmates watched tv in the next room, blissfully unaware. I remember coming home from work to see my best friend Misha sitting on the couch, still in his shirt and tie from work, with a still smoking bong on the floor beside him, eating dry iced tea powder out of the can. When confronted, he replied, "It's so dry." I miss him. I remember driving around high as a kite on a sunny summer day and thinking that life couldn't get any better. It's too bad that I didn't appreciate the good times until after they were gone. I guess that's human nature, but in these days of working long hours and long days spent away from home, you really come to realize that life is what you make it and to appreciate the good times you have. That's easier said than done when you're only home a few days out of the month and the time that you do spend at home never seems like quality time. I always feel as though I waste half of the time I'm back sleeping from partying too much. I guess that's the gig I signed up for though, perhaps in the winter it will be better as I won't feel like I'm missing much, what with the patios closed and hopefully Tapper will no longer be a bad influence. Well I'm rambling, I see that now, I guess that's all.

Picture for Wayne

No blog today, just a sweet picture for Brother Wayne.