I'm back

Wow. It's been exactly a month since my last blog entry. That's mostly because my internet connection seems to be very inconsistent. Probably because I don't actually have my own connection and so I'm forced to steal a wireless connection from somebody else in my building. Apparently they're on to me because most days I'm reduced to a pathetic excuse for a signal that effectively leaves me with no internet. They better hope I don't see them in the elevator or something because I'll have a few choice words.
Anyway, it's been an eventful month. My birthday was on the 4th and we celebrated that to excess, as usual. I think I'm too old to party that hard. Mind you, if Newman can do it, then I probably can too. After all, Newman is much older than I am. Mind you, he did go to bed at midnight. What a nancy.
Guess what I did today? I fucking scraped the side of my car on a post in my parkade, that's what! I was really angry when I left home and my mind was not on driving at all and I didn't make a very good turn and fucking scraped my car. Guess how pleased I am right now. So for all of you who see my car and fell the overwhelming desire to ask "Hey, what happened to your car?" NOW YOU KNOW!

I wonder what life has in store for me in the near future. Maybe my apartment will catch on fire. That would be nice wouldn't it? I like fires. Or perhaps I'll be framed for a murder that I didn't committ and end up in jail. Me in jail? That could never happen now, could it?